Dear Thursday,

What do you hope to achieve? Friday and I have been together forever. Do you really think this is all it will take to drive a wedge between us? I guarantee you that no one will accept you lounging about on their calendars, prolonging the inevitable. What Friday and I share is sacred. Insinuating yourself where you don’t belong is just the height of hubris, and I don’t see how any self-respecting – any decent – person will let you get away with it. They’ll tear you off the week just like they did to Blottoday. Savor your fleeting victory, you old spite house.

Sincerely,

Wednesday