Where would I take you if I could take you, and how would I take you there? In today’s world we could fly there, drive there or float on a boat until we reached the nearest port to wherever we wanted to be. The world is that easy to traverse. Money’s not as easy to come by but they say love makes you do crazy things.

Granted, I was robbing banks before I met you but it was hardly my choice. I started off in retail and graduated to food service, hopped behind the bars of a few rancid establishments and dallied in the screen trade for a little while. All of them were rotten professions and frankly I’ve never been good at professing anything. A suggestive bulge in a loose pocket does wonders for shy guys like me. You point it this way, they put the cash in the bag; you point it that way, the bag goes in your hand.

I’m not talkative, but people get me. They get what I’m going for.

Baby, where do you want to go? Where’s your dream destination? Is it a little town in Mexico? A big, clean city in Canada? Is it Swiss, is it Australian, is it somewhere in unconscionably underpopulated and brazenly beautiful Wyoming? We can go there. I will take you there.

One day they’re gonna catch me. I’m good but the world’s getting smaller, and they’ve got bugs in my mail and eyes in the sky and ears in my phone. I get it. I get what they’re going for. I can’t fight the inevitable. The advance of that punitive tide is impossible to block and more than a little justified. I only earned this money because I was crazy enough to take it.

I hope I earned you because I was crazy enough to take you. I hope you know what a thrill you are and how much it took for a shy guy like me to say anything when you’re so damn beautiful. And I don’t mean beautiful, I mean beautiful. You’re gonna be beautiful at a hundred years old, all the good looking parts of you sagging and that beautiful in your eyes shining like a wet diamond in a desert.

I was crazy to rob banks before but now I’m crazy because I don’t care. You’re in me when I go to work in the morning, you’re with me when I fall asleep at night. You’re what I’m holding in my pocket.

Where would I take you if I could take you? I take you everywhere.